From one of the sharpest Christian voices of her generation and host of the podcast Relatable comes a framework for escaping our culture of trendy narcissism—and embracing God instead. You’re Not Enough (and that’s okay)is the antidote to the popular self-love culture promoted by social media influencers, self-help gurus, and New Age-y “spiritual gangsters.” I am pleased to announce that You’re Not Enough (and that’s okay)has completely exceeded any expectations (or limitations) I previously had! The truth is we can't find satisfaction inside ourselves because we are the problem. We struggle with feelings of inadequacy because we are inadequate. Alone, we are not good enough, smart enough, or beautiful enough. We're not enough - period. And that's okay, because God is. The truth is we can’t find satisfaction inside ourselves because we are the problem. We struggle with feelings of inadequacy because we are inadequate. Alone, we are not good enough, smart enough, or beautiful enough. We’re not enough–period. And that’s okay, because God is.

If the Hollis, Byrne, Proctor, and Osteen-style ideologies are an emotional overdose of selfish, middle-class-related concerns, then this book is the intellectually-consistent and Biblical reversal agent. And really, this isn't all that surprising at all because she later goes on to shame women for not wanting children. I started going out more often and drinking more heavily. Single for the first time in my college career, I had a slew of new dating prospects. I was hanging out with people I considered the “party” crowd. They welcomed me and encouraged me to live it up these few months before the last year of college ended. The newness of it all helped numb my pain.The call for Christians is not to be the best version of their personality type, but to be like Christ. No matter what our natural inclinations, strengths, or deficits may be, we are all called to live holy lives.” I was hoping this would be a biblically based book that would teach me more about how Christ is enough, how my identity is firmly rooted and grounded in him, and how the world's solutions do not satisfy. Instead, I felt it was more a political piece than anything. Her time spent critiquing progressivism and giving personal anecdotes that I didn't relate to at all would have been better used exegeting Scripture, explaining how God meets needs, and pointing her readers to transcendent truths relatable to anyone. To say that people who do not buy this religion nonsense have no right to be angry about the Holocaust and slavery if they don't believe in god is egregiously disgusting. And yet, that's more or less what she is saying. It's as though the collective decision of society to tell everyone that mass murder and enslaving others simply because they are different from us are horrible things to do don't even matter. Why? This is the how “morality” within the Cult of Self-Affirmation works: the only standard of right and wrong is how you feel. In the cult, there is nothing inherently good about fidelity or exclusive commitment to a single person. All that matters is that people are happy. This is why, for many people, the Cult of Self-Affirmation is much more appealing than normal religion. It encourages people to do what feels good and removes restrictions and responsibility to others. It values self-love over sacrifice, self-care over service, and self-interest over selflessness. It asks us to give up only that which doesn’t please us, and in exchange, it lends us a sense of righteousness.

I was a product of the mainstream messages of our day. Though my mess of a semester should have taught me that “doing me” led to a dead end, I didn’t want to give up control and I didn’t want to decenter myself from my world. I still wanted to believe I was enough.But here’s the catch: a problem can never be its own solution. If you feel insecure, you won’t find the cure to that inside you. You’ll need to look outside yourself for an antidote. That’s why striving for self-love leaves you feeling exhausted, hollow, and purposeless. We’re not enough to heal ourselves. I don’t mean that natural remedies and positive thinking aren’t at all effective; I’m saying that we don’t have some inherent mystical force inside of us ready to solve our life problems or physical maladies. In the moment, this may comfort you. But eventually, something will contradict what you’re being told. Perhaps your toddler won’t sleep during nap time, or you miss an important deadline. Or maybe you find that you just can’t love that reflection in the mirror, no matter how hard you try. Then, feeling like a failure, you’ll convince yourself that the next practice or life change will be the one that finally works. Plain and simple, committing to a life of self-love is to pursue a life of selfishness and Allie lovingly explains why throughout this book. Sure, it is important to love ourselves and be good stewards of the earthly bodies we were given. Afterall, our body is a temple and the dwelling place of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19). But the point is, low self-esteem, self-doubt, self-criticism, and all the other selfie-theme pursuits for happiness can never be achieved through the elevation and prioritization of self. They will always fall short or crash and burn. True love and acceptance comes through the death, lowering, or deplatforming of self.