When the couple moved to Los Angeles, Berenyi opted to stay in London with Ivan, a Hungarian sports journalist, in their crumbling house in Willesden.

If you’re expecting Fingers Crossed to be a rollercoaster ride of rock ‘n’ roll excess, you might be disappointed, but that’s more about your inflexibility than any failing the part of the author. It takes you from Miki’s incredibly difficult early years as a child, through to finding music and a journey through the Lush years. Because Miki was, for a long time, removed from the industry, she feels quite happy to portray it warts-and-all and the results are so much more satisfying than some glittered-up puff-piece about how great it is to be a pop star. Miki does not sensationalise these elements in the way that some authors might – this is by no means a ‘look at my dreadful childhood’ autobiography – and she takes great care to not pinpoint these occurrences as an excuse for anything she may or may not have done in her later life.It is as open and honest as it could possibly be, Berenyi has the knack of being able to sum up people’s characters in a sharp and concise manner, a gift she turns on herself more than she turns it on anyone else. I was glad that Miki survived Lush, but I was acutely aware that I didn’t know anything near the whole story.

It’s impossible for us, on the outside, to understand the feelings that Miki must have about Nora when looking back for this memoir, but she does a very good job of letting us feel just a little bit of what she feels. The daughter of a Hungarian sports reporter and a Japanese actress (Yasuko Nagazumi, who had regular roles in The Protectors and Space: 1999) who split just a few years after her birth, Berenyi grew up in two very different worlds. From the bohemian lifestyle of her Hungarian father’s social circle to the privileged glamour of her Japanese mother’s acting career, Miki’s young life was a blur of international travel, celebrities and peripatetic schooling. Ivan invited his terrifying, controlling mother, Nora, to live with them, and she initially fussed over and cosseted her granddaughter. After a difficult time in my life in the early 1990s, my musical tastes blossomed exponentially and Lush was one of the bands that really appealed to me.

While the band, who toured the world and enjoyed a handful of Top 40 singles in the 1980s and 90s, had their dissolute moments, they had nothing on Berenyi’s family life, which was characterised by extreme chaos and dysfunction. It wasn’t really a diary where it’s like a kind of record of what happened or a journalistic description of what’s happening. Centre stage with bright red hair, she had a striking and recognisable image, but never let this put her off mingling with the crowd at gigs and festivals. But at the heart of the book are Miki’s own battles: the conflict between her mouthy public persona and her thin-skinned private identity; the trials of being a woman in an infuriatingly male world; the struggle to find a middle ground between safe indie obscurity and sellout international success. I never much minded the workload, but the financial exploitation, the bickering with Emma, the anxiety and the relentless lack of fucking respect ground me down.

Registered office address: Unit 34 Vulcan House Business Centre, Vulcan Road, Leicester, Leicestershire, LE5 3EF. Miki Berenyi was Lush's lead singer and frontwoman, sharing guitarist and songwriting duties with former schoolfriend (and music fanzine co-editor) Emma Anderson. In her father’s case, this was essentially writing and womanizing while her mother focused on her career as an actress and model.

Rough Trade's Book of the Year 2022A Mojo Book of the Year 2022Formed in 1988, Lush were part of the London gig scene during one of the most vibrant and creative periods in UK music. She is just going, ‘This is what happened, this is how I felt, if you don’t fucking like it, you can piss off’.

This could be indulgent - rock bios are generally aimed at people who want to learn more about the inside story of who hated who in the band, not necessarily where they went to infant school - but Berenyi is astute enough to realise that much of her personality, personal history, songwriting acumen and the need for a found family of friends and bandmates is informed by her rather unusual upbringing.It is not included in promotions available to our main range products, as stated in our terms of service. If you love what we do, you can help tQ to continue bringing you the best in cultural criticism and new music by joining one of our subscription tiers. It’s not that she’s being cold or emotionless; she just wants to tell people the facts about what happened in Lush… and every other element of her life. Formed in 1988, Lush were part of the London gig scene during one of the most vibrant and creative periods in UK music. Fingers Crossed is her candid, often brutally hilarious memoir of the mid-level rock hustle in the shoegaze and Britpop scenes.