until he met charlie, the one link to his dead brother, he chased her at the beginning to try and pry as much information as he could out of her about his brother, whilst trying to make sense of what their relationship was. I can understand why Charlie was immediately infatuated by Tate (hot older doctor 😍) but Tate became obsessed with Charlie a little too quickly for my taste. I guess that part of this indifference is partly tied to the fact that I ended up not liking the main characters that much, after all, and even if I did, I'd still feel like something was missing. Which is logical, seeing as their interactions happened once a year for the duration of 4 years, books and notes shared aside. One second she was hellbent on escaping the utter misery of her existence and the next her suicidal thoughts evaporated without trace upon seeing a boy from her school on the verge of jumping?

I will admit I’ve never had mental health issues or depression myself so it’s difficult for me to understand, but I have a younger sister that struggled with similar things to Kellan when we were younger, so it was much easier for me to relate to Tate than to Kellan.everyone said how emotional this book was and I bought tissues for this book and didn't even used any of them. What I liked most about this story though, is that every character no matter how unlikable or repellant was redeemed.

The actual thing not only lasted a handful of paragraphs, but was so sterile and impersonal I actually had to put my Kindle down for a second, because I was the opposite of turned on and had the strange urge to go watch paint dry. Kellan, dead from his hole, truly ended up taking the spotlight and became a shocker to the whole world. THAT SCENE( talking about the gyno-exam orgasm) was mortifying and so uncomfortable🙈🙄 why Charlie, you didn't have to go, find another gynecologist okay? Despite the fact it was a rather insta-love thing and the fact that they interacted only 3-4 times at the beginning of this book, they were tolerable (mostly).I also can't stand how a book that relies so much on the cahracters' internal battle against grief and guilt and self-loathing doesn't eventually end with one or both of them going to therapy. However, I expected the romance to match the mood, and that's where my expectations were met with disappointment, which is why I ended up not loving this as much as I thought I would at first. She became so desperate and horny when Tate told her to spread her legs [for him] to perform the pap smear, as well as deciding to take a bimanual exam because she was horny, causing her to have her hymen broken (she was a virgin). Too many things that didn’t make sense happened here: Charlie and Kellan only met four times but never hung out or really got to know each other besides talking about the dark slug and how they wanna disappear.